Sunday, September 2, 2018

I pooped my pants today...

I pooped my pants today; it didn’t make me happy, but I did have to laugh.  Being happy and laughing are not necessarily the same thing, they don’t have to be.

I’ve noticed that many of us have complained about what are obviously glaring faults with Trump’s worldview, his gestalt of the human condition, and what he says and does.  Many people have tried to constructively criticize his words and behavior.  Maybe we’ve been “complaining, noting, commenting” on the wrong faults of his psyche.    Maybe we have found ourselves stuck on the symptoms rather than the causes.  

I’ve decided to take a radical new tact:  I believe that all, ALL of Trump's problems are a result of a 100% total lack of a sense of humor.   A sense of humor requires a commonality of emotions:  love, joy, sorrow, anger, and shame.  Trump only has the one emotion; “I am a very stable genius.”  Has anyone ever heard him say a single self-deprecatory thing?  Has he ever made fun of himself?  If you can only laugh at others and have never laughed at yourself, it’s not humor; it’s bullying.  It’s all put-down.  It is playground humor at the expense of others.  You know, just like emotionally six-year-old behavior by the not nice kid, the one who has never had to take personal responsibility for anything.

So Trump’s problem is a lack of a sense of humor.  He doesn’t laugh at others the right way and he doesn’t laugh at himself ever, and he doesn’t drink.  Are these things related?  Well, most of us who do drink have at least one incident of getting drunk and doing something really stupid (something that if we have a sense of humor and are honest with ourselves, makes us connect with all the other humans on earth).  DUH; we all fuck up some times.  Some of us recall how smart we thought we were being all the while that we were being super stupid.  

Has anybody ever heard Trump admit to a mistake?  No.  So we have a man that thinks that he is perfect.  He thinks he’s smarter than every person on earth, that he’s never made an error.  I think it’s because he has no self awareness, no connection with all of the rest of the humans on earth, all of whom recognize their faults that are so often exposed by the acceptance of fallibility that is the essence of humor. 

That’s funny!  I remember I did that once!  I thought it was smart at the time.  Have we all done THAT at some time?   Not Trump; his ego requires the “greatest most stable genius" (president, human, American), his self image is necessary to play his bullying game.

Trump can’t laugh at himself because he only laughs at others because he thinks he’s the smartest human that ever lived and everybody, you and me, his wife, his advisors, what he reads in books and sees on TV, everything in the newspapers, are all written by people inferior to him.  

Everybody is inferior to him; that is the world where he lives.

So if you can’t admit that you ever did anything wrong, that you never pooped your pants, that you found yourself laughing at yourself; you really aren’t a human being. 

You are the:  “Only one who can fix it.”

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Goodlatte's office response to my question

In his reply, Bob Goodlatte quoted the Constitution to me (I had already read it several times) .  He pointed out that Donald Trump  was sworn in as the 45th President of the United States. Bob reminded me that, " ...he will have the power to execute the law under Article II of the Constitution.  Likewise, Congress will have the power to write the law under Article I of the Constitution.”  [And that]  “Our constitutional system of three co-equal branches of government and a Bill of Rights therefore prevent one branch from assuming too much authority without a challenge from the other branches of government." 

I have some information for Mr. Goodlatte; nowhere in the Constitution does it require US legislators to support crude, ignorant, stupid, mentally ill, and traitorous behavior by a president.  As Chair of the House Judiciary Committee, Bob has the Constitutional authority to question, and at times, push back against unlawful and destructive behavior by a sitting president.  In fact it is his duty to do so.

Instead, Mr. Goodlatte has been a staunch supporter of all of Trump’s actions to date and a chief attacker of those who do criticize the president.  Bob Goodlatte has abrogated his sworn oath of office to the United State’s House of Representatives.  

By the way, his staff sends out anodyne boilerplate responses to all enquiries from his constituents. They’re just doing their jobs, unlike Bob.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

An open letter to Representative Bob Goodlatte:

Dear sir: 

I would very much like to hear your analysis of these comments by Donald Trump:

“I have broken more Elton John records, he seems to have a lot of records. And I, by the way, I don’t have a musical instrument. I don’t have a guitar or an organ. No organ. Elton has an organ. And lots of other people helping. No we’ve broken a lot of records. We’ve broken virtually every record. Because you know, look I only need this space. They need much more room. For basketball, for hockey and all of the sports, they need a lot of room. We don’t need it. We have people in that space. So we break all of these records. Really we do it without like, the musical instruments. This is the only musical: the mouth. And hopefully the brain attached to the mouth. Right? The brain, more important than the mouth, is the brain. The brain is much more important.”

Should we study the "very stable genius' " words? 

Since you are such a staunch supporter of Donald Trump, I’d like you to explain this presidential proclamation for us all.  I suggest that you do it while sitting up at attention. 

If you want me to have any respect for you, you must defend why you have any respect for the person who spoke these words; the person who once again declared himself to be a “very stable genius’ on the world stage.

I would suggest that defense of the indefensible is morally bankrupt.  Unless you supply me with a cogent explanation, (I expect that your staff might not have a boilerplate letter on hand for this one) I will have no respect for you, and no one, not even your children should either.

Monday, July 9, 2018

We're never to old to learn

I’ve been on my own for the last three days. 

When she comes home she’ll ask:  “So what did you do?”  Of course, I’ll answer with the list of chores that I accomplished (most of which were left in instructions for me to do before she left).   What I won’t tell her is; I played guitar for many hours and I pretended that I had an audience. 

You see, no one in my recent memory has asked me to play a tune for them.  I know that it’s not like I’m a tragically under appreciated talent.  I have a little talent; I can play 8 or 10 nice songs through without major screw-ups, maybe another 30 or so more not too badly.  I even have an “original composition” (something in EAB that has probably been played by thousands of other people before me) that seems to resonate with open strings as I move up the neck of the instrument.

We have a couple of friends that play and sing far better than I do, and I play along sometimes without anyone complaining.  One of them did recently ask me to play a tune as if it was the single one I would like to play (like I might die before we met again…)  I have been having some serious health problems lately.  I was unprepared to hear that surprising request at the time and didn’t do well, my only chance squandered?

So I have come to realize that I enjoy the guitar and singing along, but no one else has any interest in ever hearing me.  That’s OK.  It just took awhile.

So, when I’m all alone, I play out in my shop where no one can hear me.  Sometimes I remember the time I was 16 years old at the beach on Hatteras and there was a guitar and a beach fire and noone could play it.  I diddled with it, and in memory, didn’t do too badly. 

But now, I pretend that I can tune it correctly, and play that EAB thing up the neck and it blows them all away.  Oh well.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Ain’t Virtual Reality Grand?

Ain’t virtual reality grand, and isn’t it a great teaching tool?

Well, maybe; depends.  Today I watched a 5th grader play a ‘virtual reality” plumbing game on his computer during “free time” (actually, I think he was just doing whatever he wanted to do, regardless).  But the problem wasn’t that the shit in the toilet that he plunged didn’t stink.  The real problem was that I saw no indication that the author of the game knew: “hot on the left, cold on the right”, much, much less, “shit goes downhill”.

Having just spent a few back breaking hours digging gravel and leaves out my culverts after 12 plus inches of rain in one month, I was struck by the fact that in the game, I didn’t see any indication that a clog must be fixed from the bottom up, and a leak from the top down.  Physics my dear; fluid dynamics and the brush pile effect.

So, virtual reality isn’t going to teach anyone very much if it doesn’t acknowledge what “real” is in the first place.  TV was supposed to be the teaching innovation of the 20th century.  Virtual reality has just as many promoters now.  Wanna bet what it is all going to be used for?

Yup, just like 90% of TV.

Some days I'm just not very patient. Beans

Hudson Valley Seed Company

Accord, NY 12404  845 204 8769


Business model #1:  Convince your customers to use 10 times as much of your product as is actually optimal.  Think toothpaste commercials.

Business model #2:  Steal from your customers.  The ones that notice, you apologize to and give them their money back; that ones that don’t notice, you keep the money. 

Business model #3:  Do any fucking thing to maximize your profits, there are plenty of new marks out there for you to scam tomorrow if you lose a customer today.


Dear Hudson Valley:  I’m trying to decide if you are # 1, #2, #3, or all of the above.    Please explain to me which of these descriptions of your company is correct.

On your package instructions (Silver Cloud Cannellini) you suggest that I plant your beans 1 inch apart (plants that are advertized as being 20 inches high and should be 24 inches apart at maturity). You suggest that I thin the unneeded plantlets.  Either you expect less than 7% germination (abysmal to say the least), or you want me to throw away 92% of the seeds I bought from you after they’ve sprouted.  That’s assuming that I start with 24 inch rows (one inch apart if literally adhered to would use up your package of 150 seeds up in a bed 12 inches by 12 inches, meaning I should thin down to ONE plant).

 Now before you laugh, or write me off as a sucker deserving of your scam because I’m stupid, please consider that I’m an experienced gardener of more than 50 years, and that I have a masters degree in biology.  

What I’m not is someone who will follow your business model no matter whether it is #1, #2, or #3.  So if it isn’t one of those, stop suggesting that your customers waste seed like tooth paste.  

Really, one inch apart; on what planet?

P.S. you needn't thank me for the free publicity.

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Only a Stalinist

Only a Stalinist would say that a person who doesn’t want their money to go to a TV talking head who uses ad hominem attacks on children who speak their minds have no rights.

Only a Stalinist would twist the meaning of “free speech” to include the idea that they get to say anything, and no one has the right to react to it.

Only a Stalinist political party would pass legislation that bars a doctor from talking to parents about unsecured guns in the home of a disturbed child.  Only a Stalinist would pass legislation that bars any one from studying gun violence in a country that has more gun deaths per capita than countries that are at war.

Only a Stalinist would tout the free market and then complain when it dumps their product.

Laura Ingraham is only a Stalinist who calls other people “Stalinist”.

Conservatives believe in the free market.  I do too.  I am free to boycott the products of anyone I choose.  I choose to never spend a penny on anything sold by any company that supports Laura Ingraham.

Call me a Stalinist.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

Vote with your wallet Number Three: Ingraham Addition

This form can be copied pasted and modified to express your disgust, and plans to act on same, for any spokesperson who is making money while being a jerk:

Dear Sirs or Madam: (Add the company of your choice) 

It has often occurred to me that many people in the media have been given a platform. They abuse this honor in order to say outrageous things just to stir things up and get attention (and therefore exposure), even though many of these things are demonstrably false, or slanderous, or just plain mean and hurtful.  Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham (@IngrahamAngle )
, Roseanne, and many others do this, even repeating lies that they know to be damaging to innocent people.  They even get paid an obscene amount of money for doing so.

All that money ultimately comes from me, but only IF I choose to support the sponsors of the platforms.  Maybe I can do something about that.

So now, when I read about these people making ridiculously inciteful (not to be confused with insightful) pronouncements; I plan to make a list of sponsors so that I won't make the mistake of ever patronizing any of their products. 

    You Mr. Advertiser/Sponsor are on that list.

I am sharing these observations and the information I have recorded, with as many people as I can; as often as I can.   I am encouraging others to follow my example; in any case, YOU are not getting any of my money, ever. 


(Your name; feel free to copy any part, print and send to your favorite. A hand written name after "Sirs:" and a note added after "Sincerely," adds weight to any communication. P.S. Snail mail is probably the most effective, I signed my letters, you should too.  You can make multiple copies of this for multiple sponsors). 

The following are the sponsors:  Here's where you prove that you are serious.  You list the sponsors of the offending jerk's program.

Monday, March 26, 2018



Never in my most self indulgent, narcissistic, self delusional moments have I ever thought of myself as “a patient person”.  But I do believe that volunteering many hours in a classroom of fifth graders for the last several years has taught me something.

I’ve learned that it is way easier to be patient with “self indulgent, narcissistic, self delusional fifth graders” than it is to attain the same feeling of equanimity with adults. 

The kids have an excuse!  They’re kids, experimenting with what works on planet earth among humans, dogs, cats, and their peers, (remember, the adults hold all the power).  What can you say for adults that act like: “Whatever I can get away with, is what I can get away with”?  Not to mention… And now I will mention…

Not to mention that if you are rich enough, you can get away with almost anything.  If you’ve been rich your entire life, you may have never learned any limits on anything.  You have always gotten away with everything.  I’m not a psychoanalyst, but I guess you know where this is going.

“Human nature isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

I said that.   I still say that often.  It may be something that I’ll be most famous for, if I am ever famous for anything.  I do so love quotations of well spoken truths.

So, here is the assumption: “Human nature” is a thing, and it is, what it is.  Whoop-de-doo. A syllogismI'm not supposed to have to tell you that the sky is blue and you're not supposed to argue with me about it.

I’ve found that fifth grader's “human nature” is a step above what I’ve seen from adults.  As “un-civilized” and “un-socialized” as they may be, the children are still more empathic and self aware than many of the adults that we encounter daily in life, and in the news; many of whom say that they are leaders and that they are leading.

Friday, March 9, 2018

But we don’t believe

We don’t believe:

Republicans stand for balanced budgets and equitable taxes, the tax bill of 2018.

Republicans stand for free trade, Trump’s tariffs and “…trade wars are good…”

Republicans stand for “family values”, Trump’s three wives and adultery with all of them.

Republicans stand for personal responsibility for one’s words and deeds, Stormy Daniels.

Republicans stand for patriotism, allowing Russia to continue to mess with our elections.

Republicans respect democracy.  Republicans respect planet Earth.

Republicans support “all the best people”.  Examples: Flynn, Scaramucci, Pruitt, DeVos, etc.

Nazis are very fine people.

Anyone can stand in the same room with Donald Trump without getting shit on them.

America is being made great again.

Friday, March 2, 2018

We Believe Him

We, of course, believe him.

DonDon Trump averred that he would have courageously charged into the Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, and even unarmed would have taken out the shooter with the AR-15.  

Of course, we all believe him.  He’s not delusional with fantasies of grandeur.  

Nope, he’s a very stable genius.

Friday, February 9, 2018

I Wonder

I Wonder

I wonder how real American soldiers feel about dressing up and marching down Pennsylvania Ave. 

I wonder how American soldiers dressed up and marching down Pennsylvania Ave. enhances our military readiness and capabilities.

I wonder how American soldiers dressed up and marching down Pennsylvania Ave. improves the stated assertion that the American military needs more funding (as million$ of dollars are spent on moving material and putting on a show) .

I wonder how American soldiers dressed up and marching down Pennsylvania Ave. with their tanks and missile launchers improves our nation’s readiness to respond to real threats to America.

I wonder how tearing up Pennsylvania Ave. improves our infrastructure.

I wonder how America might strive to be more like North Korea; I can't think of a way.

I wonder if Kim Young Un, “Little Rocket Man” is now realizing that he can trick Don Donnie “Big Button Boy” into doing almost anything.