Monday, February 13, 2017

THE TOOTH FAIRY, INC.                                           Office of Deciduous Dentinal Apparatus                                                                       Flattery B. Bicuspid, Director of Operations                                                                      Molar B. Grinder, Information Specialist                                                                                                  20 Dentin Way, Suite 107734                                                                                                                    The Galen Building, qwertyuiop                                                                                               Space Time Zone 2,345, 678GAL: Milky Way

The Fathers have eaten a Sour Grape and the children’s teeth are set on edge -Ezekiel: 18:2 

To: Master Davis Brian Ferguson
Bedroom, House with recently repaired black roof:                                                                                  (room is off the family room across from brother,                                                                                    Wyatt Daniel's, with a bathroom in between.)                                                                                      Beige walls with blue wainscoting.                                                                                                          Red rug and curtains.  (Dinos and movie Cars.)                                                                                        XXXX Edgewater Rd. Pasadena, Earth,      21122                                                                                    Space time zone 34,569, 2323,  werjdalutorej  

Dear Resident:
It has come to our attention that a recent action by our staff, namely, Fairy, Firefly B. Twinkle, may have been in error.  Although we pride ourselves with an excellent record of accuracy here at the Office of Dental Apparatus, occasionally things do go wrong.  Here at the Division of [teeth,  mandibular abraders, chelae, and mHnxvkjf] we also take pride in our transparent corporate policy.  Thus, even though we collect the shed [ teeth,  mandibular abraders, Chelae, or mHnxvkjf] from several billions of [children, larval forms] each [year,  cycle, astral equinox, temperature inversion] we always strive for improvement in our services.  Hence this letter (with attached forms, # 77849AXB, and asdvksdful.).  Obviously we are forced to resort to this type of mass form letter for our voluminous correspondences.  Your indulgence is appreciated.

Please be so kind as to complete the attached forms (# 77849AXB, asdvksdful) at your earliest convenience.  The completed forms will be collected (and NOT by Fairy, Twinkle) on the occasion of your next shed [Tooth,  mandibular abrader, chela, or mHnxvkjf** ].  Since the information you supply will become a permanent part of your file; it is essential that you include your validated PIN #.  If for any reason you have forgotten you PIN #,  you may obtain a replacement number by completing Form # 67342,358 (also enclosed) along with a validated copy of your [Larval form, Child] Certificate as was supplied to you included with the remuneration for your previously shed dentition: (Larval form, Children’s Act - refer bylaw 2: section 3: paragraph 34,445 - subsection 697G).  We hope that you haven’t lost it.

The error in question: 
There seems to be some confusion on our end concerning exactly which [Tooth,  Mandibular abrader, chela, or mHnxvkjf**] is the one we collected from you during our last visit.  We appear to have more than one specimen here at our facility and to make matters worse, our Forensic Specialist, Pullem (Forceps) Skullboiler believes that some of these items are not necessarily associated with Homo Sapiens, but in fact appear to be from either a pig, Sus scrofa, or a dog, Canis familiaris.  If you would be so kind as to supply us with a photo or hand drawn sketch of your dearly departed dentition, we would be able make a correct determination and close our files.  We regret any inconvenience this issue may cause you.

Your prompt response to these requests (including all forms FULLY completed) will ensure the continuation of the kind of service you have come to expect from this office.  If for any reason you have further questions feel free to call us at our toll free number clearly marked at the top of Form # 67342,358 (also supplied during our last visit).  We really hope that you haven’t lost it.

Thank you again for your prompt attention to these matters.

Information Specialist, Molar B. Grinder

Attachments:  Form # 67342,358
                        Form # 12313,214
                        Form # 77849AXB
                        Form     asdvksdful

                       Bid them wash their faces and keep their teeth clean.
                                  Shakespeare, Coriolanus:  II, iii  65

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