Sunday, October 4, 2009

So you rue the loss of religion in our schools?

If you think that the belief in God should be taught in school, consider the following:
A few years back Martin Luther had a little problem with the Catholic (only) religion of the "Holy Roman Empire" His problem had to do with the "teaching" of this particular religion and its absolute, government sanction (remember there was no such thing as separation of Church and State) in all the schools (well, there were only "Sunday schools" then) Even though Martin would be the first to admit that religion was overall a good thing; he still had some reservations about exactly how it was being promoted among the relatively powerless masses (imposed, taught?, indoctrinated? Just how powerful are our children in school?) So he questioned just what kind of dogma should be taught. He didn't like what was being imposed so he nailed 49 "Theses" on the cathedral door.

So you may not like the "removal of religion from school"? Following is an exercise in the removal of concept of the separation of church and state and an argument for the teaching of religion in the United States of America's government (taxpayer) supported schools (Ah, but which religion, you ask?):

Exactly how much more (and/or better) evidence is there for the existence of Jesus or the Judeo-Christian God (or any other gods or elements of faith for that matter) than there is for the existence of the Galactic Spaghetti Monster? None. You say that TGSM is not a REAL religion? Please consider what would happen were you to convene a meeting of one representative of each of the approximately 15,000 religions of the world (there are thousands of "Protestant Christian" sects in the USA alone. That would be a harmonious meeting wouldn't it?) So TGSM religion is as real to its adherents as are other faiths of those who see Mary on toast, handle snakes, or swing chickens around (actually, some fundamentalist Hebrew sects do this, among others) So it should also be taught in schools, right? Well think again! Some religions (gasp! I bet you never thought of this) are opposed to one another. I heard from a Priest recently, he sent me the following screed:

The pejorative "monster part" of TGSM will be dropped shortly after Jesus has been declared to be the new "Satan" and the new Galactic Spaghetti God religion reigns supreme (unless other people who are even more certain of the "TRUTH" get there first. At that point no one will know who will be the new "Satan"). But wait! The Galactic Spaghetti Monster (God) has a new challenge. He will be the new, new "Satan" of the...

Newer Religion! THE COSMIC RAVIOLI BEING!!!! trumpets blare: TA DA!!!!
The CRB is the only true God. All other beliefs are nothing but the base, disgusting, blathering of the evil, wicked, stupid and unclean spewers of falsehood and filth. CRB brooks no dissent or disrespect. Those who do not believe in SHim (please; gender in a god?) deserve only death.
The Prophet of TCRB, Blessed be his name, Timnar Thuler speaks the only truth. He tells us: The GSM is the apostate Devil and TCRB is the one true GOD:
The priesthood of the galactic spaghetti monster (note lower case; from now on tgsm will be referred to as "pastafarians") has become corrupt, engaging in the following:
1) pastafarian authoritarian priests declaim dogma that is false with many arbitrary rules.
2) pastafarain authoritarian priests' rules are inconsistent and change the path(s) to salvation at the whim of each new head priest.
3) pastafarian authoritarian priests sell promises of salvation for cash and salacious services.
4) pastafarian authoritarian priests are militant and self-serving, supporting the subjugation of the weak, the poor, and all nonbelievers. Priests claim salvation alone for themselves and those of whom they approve.
5) pastafarian authoritarian priests are hyper militant and support violence and WAR. They believe that God's will is the end that justifies all means. If it is for the glory of God; it cannot be wrong.
6) pastafarian authoritarian priests are arrogant and falsely assume the mantle of omnipotence.
7) pastafarian authoritarian priests absolve the rich of burdensome responsibilities imposed on the poor, the powerless, and the weak.
8) pastafarain authoritarian priests wear sumptuous clothing and surround themselves with gold and luxurious things (some have jet planes!). They eat expensive and rare foods unavailable to the people. They live in palaces and are driven in limousines and are flown in luxurious jet planes (they really have their own jet planes!). They have many body guards and sychopantic servants, concubines, and unlimited access to your daughters and sons. They are hypocrites. Did I mention the jet planes?
(For the full list of the 49 false pastas see our web site: www://http: CRB.com )
The Cosmic Ravioli Being, in contrast, is perfect in every way. HIS priests are all... ALL! paragons of virtue and pure intelligent truth. Every single one of the prophets of The Cosmic Ravioli Being have been lifted directly into the glittering Cosmos and are presently stars in the firmament for all to see. Can there be any doubt? That's PROOF! Only true believers will ascend thusly. Do you doubt the stars?
Only the wicked would object to the strict instruction of The Cosmic Ravioli Being's religion in all schools everywhere. People everywhere would be greatly improved by the experience of knowing SHIM. If you doubt it, you are evil. Your are an instrument of the Devil (I forget which one is current).
If you disagree with any of this; it PROVES that you are evil. All those who teach the truth will receive magnificent rewards. If you don't accede to the CRB truth, you are not even human and I and any of my servants may treat with you as if you were a worm. Nothing done to you can count as any sin or be subject to any secular Law.
Why do you persist in your false beliefs?

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