Saturday, September 26, 2009

Past notes to Heloise, part one

An open letter to Heloise:
The other day, my brother Davis and I were thinking about some of the hints we’ve seen in your column. Of course, being country boys, we kinda feel like you’re a little too biased toward the "little old lady" kind of hint, but we decided to just keep trying with our more manly "redneck" hints. It was either that or try and start our own column; nah, too much like work.
Well here goes nothin’:
Most of us guys born prior to 1950 just are not comfortable wearing our hats indoors, even to just sit down in a diner to eat. But forgetful as we’re all getting, one of the easiest things to lose is a ball cap (and some of those have serious sentimental value to a guy). You can’t "check" your hat anywhere any more and most places don’t even have a hook on the wall, so what to do?
I take my hat off and tuck the brim into the back of my pants, you know, into the top of the waistband (even works if you wear suspenders). It’s out of the way, you look respectful of the circumstances and you’ll have your hat when you leave . You do have to remember it’s there if you happen to go into the men’s room and have to loosen your belt or takedown your pants for any reason (you know what I mean). Otherwise you just might have to flush it down no matter how much you love that hat.

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