“ARRGH!” you say, or maybe “drat, darn,
damn, crap,” or something stronger as you missed that springtime housefly with
your swatter. Is this an example of the
religion/philosophy of Resistentialism?*?
Maybe it’s that insecure grip on your
$0.89 fly swatter. Is the Universe
mocking you? DO DO DO DO DO DO DIDLY DO,
Look! Up ahead, there’s a sign post…. You’ve
just entered the “Niggle Zone”. Why miss
that fly with your cheapo swatter when you can buy a cheapo swatter and spend
just three hours of your time crafting a beautifully customized fine hardwood
handle? And then miss the fly!
Ah, and
*Resistentialism? Resistentialism
is as rational a philosophy as any that may be derived from thought or
religion. If you have ever been angered
by an inanimate object, then
like or not,
you are an adherent of the creed. Modern
credit must be given to M.R. James' horror story "The Malice of
Inanimate Objects", first published in 1933, and Paul Jennings for his article titled
"Report on Resistentialism", written in 1948. Even Stephen Vincent Benét paid homage to the
concept in his poem; “Nightmare Number Three". But to believe that the ancient Romans,
Hittites, and Abyssinians didn’t gnash their teeth when apparently simple things
went terribly wrong is to deny the universality of the human condition. Thank you, Sir Terry Pratchett for “Anoia”
the Goddess of things that stick in drawers. Anoia is summoned by rattling a drawer and
crying: "How can it close on the damned thing but not open with it in
there?” She shows up smoking cigarettes
like a chimney and telling you bluntly that she doesn’t really give a shit about
your problems.
There are numerous corollaries to Resistentialism, such as Murphy’s Law
(that which can go wrong, will go wrong), Coat’s Axiom (the interesting parts
are just off the edge of the map) and, “Why me, Why now”?
