Wednesday, April 5, 2017

Shoot the Messenger? Wow, he said; look what I saw

Wow, I’ve got this new spy app. You guys know that I’m really really good at this stuff, right?  So I fire it up the other night, and you won’t believe the really preverted  pervert guy I’ve found.    Wait till you see how sick he is!  You won’t believe anybody could do this stuff.  I couldn’t believe it until I watched for hours.

So he’s home in front of his computer where he thinks nobody can see what he’s doing (Ha Ha me and my spy app!) and he does these things that NOBODY should ever see!   I mean nobody should ever see.

I watched him as he pulled his pubes…  I mean, he had these tweezers and he just went after them!  I had the sound up, and he was even counting!  So the first session, he only does two hundred; I’m not sure if he had a good count that time, but I paid attention the next time he did it.  That time I heard him say he did four hundred…. I can tell you, either this guy is a liar or he can’t count; I only counted 397.  He got up really close to the bright light and he carefully moved his dick out of the way so he could see the hairs all around it without any shadows.  How weird is that?  So next time I hear him say he pulled 500 (I’m pretty sure he got 502).  Then he got really deviant and without a break he pulls another 500 (I’m pretty sure he got that count right).   By now this guy is looking very clean and slick, if you get my meaning.  I mean, he’s starting to look prepubertal, (I admit, I had to look that word up).  I watched as he spent some time checking around for anything he’d missed in the area he was concentrating on.  I didn't see much...  He found five; I have to admit he did a good job of mopping them up.

I’m telling you, it took him hours to do this stuff.  I know, I watched him.  He counted each hair as he pulled it, and I’m telling you that he missed some; I was counting too.  Not only that!  I could see some really nice easy hair pulls that this guy missed too.  Man, if I’d been there, I would have gone after number 367 way before he got finally got around to it at count 372.  What a pervy doofus!  What a jerk!
So you want to watch with me?

Five years later there are televised competitive pubic hair plucking contests for fame and big money.  Style points are awarded for difficult pulls in tough areas, timed efficiency, and error free sprints.  Favorite champion contestants are followed by their techniques and resultant appearance of their pubic areas…. Breathless commentators gush over great fast runs, difficult pulls, and immaculate looking stretches of pubic skin.  Slow motion is employed in instant replays of success and failures.  Shame befalls the unlucky contestant that develops a rash or an ingrown hair.  Frequent champions and big stars sell name branded products like silver penis rings and special tweezers.  This all replaces the Super Bowl in the year 2026.


Back in 2015, some psychologists decide that doing this is a disease.  



2 comments:

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  2. The horror! "The more awareness there is about how common pubic hair pulling is, the more people suffering with this behavior will access the various treatment and support options available instead of suffering alone and in silence." Thank God for those who decide what is a disease, and are there to alleviate our suffering. I do recall that masturbation was a disease just a hundred years ago.

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